The St. Louis Snow

Watching DW with B... It's the God Complex... Funny how it's about a monster, and not the author themselves. White men are never at fault! But they are also not the default type of life. Anyone who worships their woman is a good friend of mine.  My partner has a lack of ego, not an inflated sense of self. My therapist pointed out today that my father still thinks of himself as the hero ... He voted for trump. He voted for the authorization of this Punk Ass government of a United States to be overthrown by the horse meat of public school lunches, Trump. What a fucking laugh of a wasted existence... He is and was an awful man, and whoever supports him in anyway doesn't get my respect. Period.  For realsie, my dad had thought Jamie Lanaster was the hero in GoT's first episode!!.. Like ... He thinks of himself as the hero! But, the moment he told me that he voted for that vile man.... I lost all respect for him. Every ounce. I stopped living some life my Dad had planned out...

I can't always be aware of everything going on in the world. The tantrum tyrant who's last name rhymes with rump.... He's got a few months to live. I still don't understand how he rose to such power... I don't understand how smart people voted in such a joke? I don't understand how he maintains followers and sheep. They're all a bunch of incel red pill dorks...  A year or so ago, Elon Musk had live streamed himself playing Diablo 4, and sucking really bad... Apparently, he had paid some kid in China to beef up and collect all the goodies for his character and then he thought he could just slip in and play like a god? Lol. I'm not a gamer AT ALL, but even I know that would never work. I think they think the world is their stage and they're just performing in it? Life isn't a sitcom where villains just get played out or fade to black.  There's a finality to life that brings you to the present whether you want it or not. And I don't think ei...

They talk a lot about what's supposed to be... Supposed to be what there no cookie cutter plan for everyone to experience the same... Not everyone wants a 9 to 5, sitting in traffic for two hours a day, going home to Suzy Homemaker and rinse&repeat until death... Some poor souls work retail... Lol Not everyone is destined for those lives. And I get that people join the church and organizations to be told how to live and what rules to follow, in order to aspire to that cookie cutter life..... But that's not the point to life... The point to life isn't to follow someone else's recipe... It's to learn and connect from and to others... It is to learn to love others in spite of their differences to you.  ... I had to unlearn a lot of bullshit I had absorbed in youth to be a better human today. Finding a company to work for and with, was the start of how I learned how to utilize trust from others as a currency to live... A lifestyle of respect, understanding, and inte...

I met my future in laws for the first time, and I'm honestly over the moon. Albeit it was Maga country, they were nothing but kind and sweet. I saw such an abundance of love they had for each other... And the fact that they've had the same house for... Their entire life. I am kinda jealous of that.  My family and childhood was othering and sprawling out with moving around a lot and separation... My whole family pretends we had this perfect childhood and whenever we bring it up, we are the ones being dramatic or the tyrannical stepmother says passive shit like "I don't remember that." ...how convenient for her that she doesn't recall all the outbursts and us "getting into trouble" whenever we were ourselves... But we were "outside of our gender roles," as it were....  I liked American muscle cars and my sister never really wanted to wear dresses as a kid...  We were constantly fought with or yelled at to be something we weren't.  At the ...

All I ever wanted to be known for was to love well and hard. See, your friends are supposed to teach you how to love yourself... How to take care of others. One's family is supposed to teach you how to be a good friend/human to others. Treat others as you would yourself... That's what was drilled into me as a kid, growing up half in the church indoctrination, and half in a single mom household, who would act like an adulthood teenager....  Apparently that doesn't translate to Christianity. I've never found the kindness I deserve in The Church. I've always sought fairness. I've always sought friendship and love in others. We are supposed to like ourselves. We are biologically made to like ourselves, so if we don't, what has to change in our life to like ourselves, again? ...we cannot live by montage, unfortunately. But we can reminisce and remember through montage. What do I have to do today to get to where I want to be in a year, 2, 5? A decade? How does one...

No human on earth can control how their offspring experiences the world, on a personal level... Like, they can give them comforts they themselves didn't receive as children... Build up generational wealth and so forth, both in equity and relationships... Parents can control their kids environments up to a certain extent... But knowing that awareness as a child isn't a lesson that is commonly taught.  How to perceive the world around me was the job of my parents... You'd think having three most of my life, that I'd luck out with one good one. I wouldn't say my mother is overall good... But I think she thinks she did ok. And I think she did the best she could with the resources she had. Her trust in the world was broken... She passed that mistrust down to us. Expecting kindness from strangers is stupid, but I'm supposed to trust my fellow man in moments of crisis? How about in a daily scenario? If me, an autistic woman, is going to work most of her life, I would l...