Dragoncon 2026

Con eve:

I cannot wait to experience B's first Dragoncon. I am so freaking stoked for him!

He will have to go off and do his own thing with his own department, but there are some things that are extremely ok to do by myself and with others who know what mutual respect looks like. And the meaning of consent. People who accept others that understand that different people exist, and if someone doesn't like you, that's ok. Not everyone is supposed to like you. That would be impossible. And it's an insane expectation...

How Crickets felt about being part of a sporting event... How he felt about those people, that's how I feel about people in general, who are on the con volunteer staff. Or people who attend cons all the time. They're not all lovely people... Some are... Differently-minded. Like, most of society runs on some monogamous notion of love... Like you gotta pick and choose who you want to hang out with... I think that's just life. 

I had always wanted to hang out with my husband, like ...and be content. I do like people... I LIKE FELLOW NERDS THAT FUCKING PRAISE hygiene and basic skills of survival. And who are emotionally-mature and can look me in the eye about certain decisions. Certain conversations... Being blunt but tactful is an unsung skill. 

I've always imagined my friend group consisting of those I'd have likely befriended in middle school... 

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There was a time where Crickets would be sarcastic to me but he was being a dick about something. And I wasn't registering that it was ok or not ok... Justified or not? I don't know what anger even looks like in a partner, anymore. I have trouble registering such an emotion... But really thankful for the maturity. 

B & I explain each other's misunderstandings pretty plainly, with the belief on a basic level, we see each other for what we are... And not some project to do step by step... I see and accept the other and his faults. But the difference is I can read his anxiety... He allows me I'm, and I of him. I always want to be understood ... I always try to aim for the understanding of others than to believe they mean me harm or have malicious intent. 

For Dragoncon context... The panels I like to attend are things I like to learn about and that I know drunk people aren't at. ...the panels are like snippets of electorals 

I am averse to those who need to drink to have a good time. It's not a bad thing if that's your thing...be safe... But like, I don't personally prefer that type of inhibitions during Con. I actually stay sober throughout. 

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The things we console about (B & I), with each other is vast and far between. A trust unparalleled that I've ever built with anyone else. I love the bond we have and how we lean on each other... 

I am finally living with my best friend, because I get to have him every time I want... But we don't have to earn each other's affection; it is mutually given... 🤯

I really love how he's ok at reading me.... Like all he wants is me all the time and that's enough for him... And that's enough for me... I like being worshiped as the badass goddess I am. I don't have to try to earn his love or beg for time... He just... Wants to? What a weirdo. 

B knows all my buttons. But does what I say if it propells us forward. 

Anyway... It's going to be a great Con!! 

*****

Thursday: 

No cosplay, but comfortable clothes. purple plaid shirt with our matching Addams shirts! I love whenever we match... Or he matches me, I should say ... I love B.

We already met up with a few familiar faces. Got here about 1130a... 

K is wonderful as always... They've been stressed... It's a lot to be in charge. I don't envy their position. I was on the naughty list, having zero schedule... But the website wasn't registering my hours. It was very strange... But I worked it out.

"I didn't worry about you" ...squeeee. Good Sign... Very dependable! I am believed and trusted. Yay! Having people entrust me with time. ...I love feeling needed and trusted. 

My schedule was screwed up. But I love doing the radios, what can I say? I think I do them well. People come to me. 

Apparently there were a few losses of life in the volunteer staff family. People I didn't know or ever met. A few people have been more frazzled than usual. It must be tough. I have been there, similarly... I hope they remember them and grieve well. ❤️‍🩹 

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B is overwhelmed, but I believe in him. He will be ok. 🥄🥄🥄he wants to attend Con next year, but not as a volunteer ...he wants to take me to places and do the activities without a care in the world... I would love that... We would need to bunk with someone, somewhere...

At Con, my 🥄🥄🥄 are pretty steady. Con energizes me. It's very strange. Like a selective extrovert... Nerds... How accepting are we?

How Crickets felt at a Sporting Event = how my father feels about the Catholic church = how I feel at Dragoncon... 

Everyone has their Church, I think. 

...

Friday: 

We are the bastard child of Wonka and an overgrown Oompa Loompa Groompa Grump. I'm very excited. Earrrrlier morning today... But worth it. Very educational today. A lot of near panels lined up... Hopefully none too crowded. 

He gets too act grumpy all day... We'll both be passing out chocolate!! 🍫 Dairy-free!! 

I hope I get to go up on stage for the live band karaoke!! She by Green Day is my go-to! 

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We got there by... About 9a... After stuffing my bulk of stuff away at tech ops, we went our separate ways. B went off for volunteering and I went to a puppetry panel of filming and creating content. 

Afterwards, we ate a bit and then went to a panel, "so you want to be a streamer?" ...and then "creating content for money?" ...B almost fell asleep. I took notes for both. Lol

We are enjoying a quiet time away from the white noise of the massive accumulated mass of ecclective fans and cosplayers. Friday evening is rough. People really cram themselves in here. 

B is taking a nap whilst I write in this blog. Having a true, trusting partner, to walk around with, who helps and accomadates, and is good with crowds, in short bursts. ... As they--and I--can get overwhelmed... It is good to take breaks... But also good to check in with Spoons. 

We already ran into X and M, so that's great! 

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Crickets had once lost something at Con. I had told him I could help. But he yelled at me to stay put because I would be too much of a hassle. He had went back to where we were and came back upset that we had lost our items from the merch hall. He is the type of Dragoncon attendee who only comes on a Friday or Saturday because of work or other obligations. I get it... But I recall going to lost n found the next day and retrieved our items. Because that's what I would've done... But he had yelled at me. 

At Dragoncon, that same year, he had yelled at me to stop flirting with him in a certain goblin way (that B adores now 💖) ... Crickets had yelled at me in front of our friends... Well, his friends. He upset me by blowing up at me, in public. It really wasn't ok. I was always supposed to yield to him, instead of him accomadating to me...and my emotions. ....I wish I had stood up to him sooner... We made up, I guess, but... We never resolved anything. There was never any mutual curiousity to understand... I always had to chase his feelings around... To calm him. He had said he explained and apologized to his friends, but I doubt he ever did; he would've had to admit fault.

Crickets had such thin skin wrapped around so much anxiety and anguish, the burdens of a first born black son, with the examples of constant fighting and control issues ... That weren't my business to fix or contend. 

He thought he was saving me stress, but he was only saving himself from meeting me half way... Or facing my emotions and being able to deal with hurting my feelings all the time.

Truthfully, I did the same back. We never really spoke about the themes that bothered us about the other because we didn't want to offend... But we stayed stagnant. We stayed poised in place like a posed action figure on a collectables shelf... .. He had one definition of who I was and decided I wasn't allowed to grow or become bigger or more shiny... I had looked at him with such admiration that was never really earned... I had given myself freely to him... And he never bothered to learn how to love me. He never wanted to learn me? He never allowed me in... He just liked me admiring him... He just liked how I made him feel... Loved. Wanted. 

But he could never really reflect those facets back to me with earnest. He liked to absorb... He likes to take. But he never learned to give in return. 

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B is slumbering. I hope he's sleeping well and getting rest. I hope he's getting a deserved rest. 

I gave so much of myself to Crickets, but he never really trusted me to share with me his deepest emotions. He never needed anything from me. He never wanted to hang out with me. He had felt like he couldn't depend on me... Idk how much of that was both of us, but that was definitely both our faults... After quite awhile, I stopped wanting his attention... I stopped begging for it. All it was, was fights... Arguments. 

I was and am so ready to invest and tumble a fall into another's life. I want to marry my BFF and kiss him anytime I want. Great. 

...I want to hangout with B like all the time. I have been called clingy or too high maintenance... But in truth, Crickets wasn't up to snuff, up to par... He wasn't close to his own inner self, inner child. He was the devil's advocate, instead of the cheerleader or the encourager of his partner.

.*.

Happy people encourage. Successful people support. Beautiful people compliment. Smart people are able to apologize annnnd admit ignorance. 

Empathy is the key to education. 

Kindness is punk. 

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Crickets had once said that I had taught him to love himself. Unsure if he stuck with it; it's an on-going type of patience and self-forgiveness. I hope the person he's with now, I hope he doesn't make her feel small. I hope he didn't stop attending therapy. 

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I don't mean to keep comparing... But B is so much more steadier. Both emotionally mature and has the potential to grow and play... To bounce off of one another and reflect the playful imagination and integrity. To 'yes and' an idea without always playing contrasting sides... 

......

I hope I get to sing tonight. Right afterwards, we are maybe popping in with seeing some short puppet films... But probably just huffing it home! 

So far, I've made a friend at Comedy for a Cause, and another, spx affionato Neither are their names. Lol duh. 

Whole numbers too. At least FB accounts... 

A lot of great notes... 

We are collectively tired!!! 

The partiers are here... They are loud and annoying... Lol

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Dark horse live band karaoke was POORLY organized. The volunteer team miscommunicated as to who got first dibs of the sign up... We were reassured over and over that we were first. I got there at about 615, 630p. Sign up was supposed to start at 8... That's what the app had said. And thennnnn... When we were finally ushered in at 830, there was already 15ppl deep... Idt they were waiting in line for 2 hours... Ugh. 

The signage for where the line started was confusing as well. There needed to be better direction. I submitted a rating with the suggestion of giving the correct people an exclusive sticker on the back of their badge... I understand ADA for disability get first first dibs... But 15ppl? ...

Someone-singing-in-back-of-me's moral support friend went into Mom-mode and spoke with the volunteer about the situation. That person was very apologetic. That person I don't hold at fault. 

Apparently the signage was the issue and CLEAR communication for how people should've organized and been counted. 

It was the end of my day and I was overwhelmed. I would've spent my last spoon on singing... But I was very angry and didn't want to be here anymore. So B took us home. 

And that was actually wonderful. It was nice getting home early-ish and watching a DW with my beloved before bed.

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Saturday. 845a

I was supposed to volunteer last night after I sang, but I was livid and had to leave. I was coming in early this morning anyway so... I figured to come in and volunteer for radios. The someone who was scheduled was 40min late! Man... 

The person I releaved at 845a LOVED seeing me come in and knowing what I'm doing. I like being here. 

Annnnd the late guy? I just told him to sit and be pretty. I'm here until noon. Lol. I get first dibs. It was nice telling him no, I got this. 

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Cosplay was Pirate Snow Whyte... Tech Ops dress like pirates on Saturday! And primary colors are pretty great to play with... So that was easy! 

I had never participated in a con photoshoot before, so I had decided on Disney! I was Pirate Snow Whyte! Yay!  

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Noon... 

I trained the next person and wrote down useful steps and procedures for anyone following. 

Panels went pretty well. By the time B was finished, we slowly crawled back to the Marriott's volunteer floor where we met up with A & F to see them real quick, dropped off her favorite treat, and went back to basically where we were....

I don't abuse my privileges, usually... But for Edgewood Avenue? Helllll yeah! ...so people weren't letting us in at all by the front doors to the Hyatt ballroom... So I decided to do a little sneaking around... There was a auditorium-type of room for a charity... But there was a door in the back... We took a chance and walked through. 

We had made it to the back house of the Hyatt hotel... ...the door we came through was locked! Oh no! 

Then we proceeded to try and locate the correct room. Lol. There was a misstep and I almost walked in on the Odyssey panel... Lol. Quickly backed out. Then we snuck to the end of the hall where there was another panel... Two chairs in the hall where we sat for a bit. I thought if I could maybe see someone I could signal them over... Luckily, there was a fellow volunteer who needed some help with his backpack strap and he lead us to the correct door. 

The panel that was there was the dungeon carl one... PACKED... But we stood in the back and waited 20min for them to finish and clear out so we could get first dibs on seats. My friend is ADA, so I sat by those that were reserved already so we could sit by each other. ...it was a spectacular show!! Tree spirits and kissing your friends! Lol. The letter today was T! 

I'm so happy they were invited back! I'll definitely be sneaking into their show, again, next year!! 

My friends were really impressed by their improv skills.

As B had to return to volunteering... I went with friends back to their hotel room in the Westin. There, my friend transformed into The Goddess of Flaming Hot Cheetos... And her bf and bf's friend were her minions, but we passed out CHEETOS!! It was so much fun!! Yelling out to people's characters was the best... And then most times, they have US trinkets!! Very very cool. 

I was rude to my friend, but apologized. She forgave. 

At about 1045p, I was out of spoons. I said my goodbyes and trotted off to B, where he was finishing up editing the parade.... We left for home at about midnight. Showered off the day and went to sleep. 

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Sunday

Cosplay; Snow Who! 

They should really have the Doctor Who photoshoot on Sunday since the ball is always Sunday... But whatever. 

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I'm feeling the concrud already... But I shall soldier on! 🪖 I masked up. 

We slept in a bit and B is cooking breakfast. With a swig of dayquil, I'll be ready to go! 

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We got to con a bit later than expected, but our first panel was at 230, the state of tv & film industry in Atlanta. ... First row. VERY informative. Really loved the speakers. Wrote down a lot of good notes. Great resources. 

Then after a long lunch, we went to a puppet workshop of Monitor Work... It was SO FRIKIN COOL... Besides becoming a fashion designer, being a puppeteer is a life long dream... Something I think I had talked myself out of because "puppets are for kids" ...but... That line of thinking never made sense to me... Adults were the ones behind the puppets. They aren't kids. They're adults who play... 

Fantastic! 

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We had to skip Felt Nerdy... Would've given away Spoilers, I think. So we lined up for the DW Ball instead. First 20min of que waiting was cuddly... THEN C turned around from a group of nerds ahead of us and we caught up! I had met C in Improv 1 class at Dad's Garage. It was so wonderful seeing a familiar face. 

He is a delightful young man, a fellow middle child and full of empathetic love. I hope he goes many places in life ;) 

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The DW Ball was quite the let down... There was maybe a handful of DW cosplays, most I had seen the year previously... Dragoncon really needs the DW photoshoot on SUNDAY bc the Ball is Sunday... It just makes sense? 

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After a few choice photo opportunities, we left. It had been a long day. 

.........

Monday

Last day of con. We got there about 10a... We rushed to our last panel, building a puppet. 

Afterwards, B went off to finish his volunteering hours and I went to participate in mine... Surprise, surprise... I am on radios. A lot of ppl turning in equipment. But it was fun regardless. Some good swag on the swag table. It's nice to work with respectful people. 

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Overall it was a great Con. Now we are battling concrud/sickness/ &homelessness! Yay!!! 

B's mom is recovering from surgery and her husband is suddenly technologically impaired... Fun stuff! 

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Snow.