Starting

How would one start the life they've always wanted? 

Sometimes, my boss says I'm being assertive when I think I'm being a bitch. She's a very lovely, respectful and respected woman. 

But I am not aware of the power within myself and what I could really do with my influence. I tend to share my opinions and then others run with them as facts, and that's never my intention. I never feel very good gossiping about others... I can't do that, honestly. I tend to point out their insecurities... I just don't, now. 

I like to surround myself with such individuals who possess and aspire to obtain facets of characteristics that I admire... Integrity. Humility. And I guess equality. 

I don't like myself when I'm angry or frustrated... I don't like myself when I yell obscenities... I don't like to be kept in the dark, intentionally... I can recognize true kindness because I have had DECADES of discerning between someone being nice, and someone being kind... Being nice gets you a nice review on yelp or an extra second at a stop sign ... Being kind is quietly accepting an unpleasant encounter with someone you'll never interact with again, anyway. Might as well be kind. 

How would you want to be treated if you were in their situation?  Treat others as you would like to be treated... 

But then, people usually take take take if they're given the repeated chance of access. 


I often wonder the level of access I give to my loved ones... The people who would sooner hush me or try to request being small again, for the sake of the perceived society, aren't loved ones of present-me... They hold on to some antique notion of me, yesteryear or more.... I don't give them complete access to me... To the one man I like to be around, and unfurl my talons and peel off my weathered armor..... : B has complete access to me... Excessively. I trust him. And he trusts me... That dynamic isn't lost on me. I hope I can handle his heart carefully. Love an Ood.


I'd like to become a Doctor in the field of childhood autism and possibly start a program for assisting Level 1's access to a full time job. I'd also like to be a published author! 

...
I know I have life askew, in that I've thrown myself into the niche career of this one company... But it has many pros and few cons, one of which is the pay. 

I don't like to chase money because eventually, you're just surrounded by others who also chase money... And they're usually very unpleasant or impossibly boring people... To build character and resourcefulness...one must struggle. 

I strive to be a good person. In order to continue, I must surround myself with good people... Idt anyone here is chasing money over the quality of life. 

I can respect myself at the end of the day. I can be proud of myself and my contributions... 

Not many can say that, I think. 

...but up until recently, I never knew I'd have a life outside of my career. What will we build out from here? I love that I feel loved and valued and cherished and that I feel like B actually thinks I'm smart. His words match his actions and vice versa. He is a good man. Pretty sure I got the last good one on the shelf ... 

💓

...
Snow.

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