Wealth

I never thought I could fall again. I never thought I'd catch these feelings again. I never thought I'd be so appreciated back, ever. I keep anticipating an outburst or an eye roll or gaslighting to save his own face. 

B is turning out to be absolutely wonderful. I can see how much love he has for me, the amount of times Ive caught him staring but ignored him bc ... Driving . Or we were in class. 

He's fascinated by my eyes and "the flecks of gold" they have. I've seen his eyes grow heavy and serious with intent before kissing me. I never thought I'd find someone so easy to love, and someone who easily loved me back. We are trying not to say the  L word to one another too early... But I just want to hurry up. When I know I know... I wouldn't mind waking up to him for the rest of my life. I've finally found a teammate? In a condo, in the city, with a dog and a partner. Be a safe haven for our collective nibblings...

I think it took experiencing being on an actual team at work to know what a good teammate would be like for life. 

He loves watching shows with me and he doesn't make it seem like a chore or a bother. He takes direction so well, and he makes me laugh and smile like I'm stoned. ...but I'm 100% sober. 

He's broke and poor like me. Lol we can grow together. We share the dream of voice acting and creating a show with one another. 

He wants to watch movies and series with me. He wants to run errands with me? He's glad to spend his time with me? ...I keep waiting to find out he has five kids or a secret wife or something... Kinda waiting for the other shoe to drop any minute now... 

It's so easy being with him? I ask him every so often if he's real.... "Maybe" he replies. 

He's abundantly kind and patient. Playful and goofy... Sexy, tall, bearded, smart. Big strong hands. And he can lift me up.... It's exciting. He's 5 years younger... sometimes he calls me a cougar. 

In HS, I would've been a Senior, and he a Freshman. Scandalous... I like how it's not so significant now. 

He loves holding me and making space and time for me. I keep worrying this man will get tired of me, but he has water constantly. Lol. He doesn't drink or smoke or does drugs. There's no pressure to drink and I'll always have a DD. 

I'm so incredibly thankful we both broke our individual rules of "no dating classmates" ...but it's improv class... It's not like graded assignments class. 

I don't like being touched by a lot of people... But I love being touched by him. 

......

This weekend is con. I plan to take Thursday pretty easy. I don't plan on cosplaying until Saturday or Sunday... Just chill... Enjoying panels here and there. Intense people watching. 

I think I'll get back fairly early. I'm going to be plugged up, meaning earplugs, masked, and wear my Snow Whyte hat ;) 


...roommates are going well? I keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong. 

... And later, B is going to help me set up streaming... Maybe get an actual following of other crafty bitches out there. 

......also thinking of getting my tubes removed completely. I don't trust my body to be pregnant again, let alone this fucking cuntry... 


...
Snow.

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