real?

I don't feel real. I feel like if I didn't exist, no one would notice for a few days. 

Dad = church = unsafe

Mom = also isolated= unsafe

Sister = has her own issues = unsafe

Brother = golden child = the church = unsafe

I feel like I've isolated from the rest of my family even though I've tried reaching out to ppl that are safe... They are too busy. 

I'm not about the going out culture anymore. I'm not about gaming. I'm not about alcohol or being stoned all the dang time... 

I like to have long, in depth conversations. I love to hear about loved one's infodumps. I love karaoke... Making playlists. Listening to podcasts. Working. Watch movies/shows with loved ones. I would like to have more of a social life, outside of work, but I feel like no one sees me. No one wants to know me. 

I don't exist.

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