Plateau

When I was a kid, dinner time was around 6p... Both houses sat down to either share about their days or watch a TV show... 

The table at Mom's was usually to accumulate junkmail, magazines. Books. So many books. 

I hated that table; it was confusing. White painted wood with exposed wood grain around the border. The table top center was white tiles, like bathroom tiles. Shiny and buff, but confusing. What are tiles doing on a dining table? It was so difficult to clean bc crud would get into the crevices. ...

 

But we would eat at that table for special occasions. Mostly, we would set up in front of the TV and utilize the coffee table. This piece of furniture had been traveling with my mother for about 30 years, at that point. Plywood top, wooden frame. Long and narrow, close to the ground... Like stubby and short, but delicate legs. 

On one of the longer sides, it had a decorative knocker... All along the edges, it was scalloped. 

...

The table at Dad's was one that he made. It was a long table of plywood on a pair of two hinged V pieces. It always had a table cloth bc it was ugly and too simple. 

When they moved, G eventually got a zebra wood grain table. It was gorgeous. We weren't allowed to eat on it without her permission. It's a table. 

The breakfast knook was a black round table like that from a restaurant. It was a rather large table and could fit up to 8 average sized adults. 

We didn't need her permission to eat there, but she would tell me how much fat was in everything I consumed... We eventually got a treadmill, in which I was to regularly walk on. I liked it right after school... 

...

The places I ate when I lived by myself wasn't that important, as I recall, until I bought my first table with my own money. It was off of Amazon, but it was solid wood. Sturdy. 

It had a butterfly center, meaning I could make it expand longer, with the magic of wood origami. ...there were buckles to keep the leaf in its place.

My schedule isn't as predictable as I would have liked, so there wasn't really a set time for dinner... There's no set time because I have no one to share that meal time with.... The time and seeing didn't matter.

I always wanted to have meal time with my ex, when he got off work, but he wanted to eat and watch what he wanted... 

He utilized my old TV as his second monitor and used my butterfly table as a "work bench." He never worked on anything. It was the only place we had room for it and I wanted to keep it, but he used it to hold the monitor, basically.

I miss my table and my apartment. But it wasn't really my apartment since my father helped me get it. I still loved that space and the neighborhood. I had moved in, March 2020... I had a lot of time alone, putting things where I wanted them and decorating... 

According to the ex, I was a horrible roommate. According to me, he was a horrible partner, never seeing my worth beyond how I made him feel about himself. 

I'm tired of dating selfish, close minded, immature people. 

But I am not interested in giving my heart to anyone, anytime soon. 

I'd probably be monogamous again, for the right person. Idt I've met them yet. There's a new guy... But Handshake and Red are my current partners. 

I still have this notion that I'd like to marry my best friend ... My mother had scoffed at me. She still tries to give me dating advice and roommate tips... Even though she hasn't had a roommate since college and hasn't really dated in 20 years... Her awareness is woefully out of date. 

...

New Guy is  cinephile like me (loves movies)... I really love that he likes to watch movies as much as I do. And he's nerdy. 

I date really well. I like to go out on dates and get to know the other person. My expectations are to talk. I don't understand the rules of dating, just be yourself... I'm not looking for a long time commitment... I am having fun and enjoying myself. I won't be a dick or anything... But Idk if I'm ready to commit again. 

Handshake feels more sturdy, but he wants babies. Idt I trust my body to not kill me, and adoption isn't an option for him, so... I am enjoying what time we have together, and I hope to always know him as a friend, in the long run. 

....

Red has a handmade table. It is.... Nice. But a lot of sharp edges and points that I do not enjoy. He really likes squares and angels... Sharpness. Geometric pattern and shapes... I really like his cooking. And I appreciate his decisiveness when it occurs. I think he's funny and a very good man. I'm so happy I maintained a friendship with him... And as nothing is keeping him in Georgia, it will be immensely sad when he moves out of state... I won't blame him. That man needs a garden. 

....

I am interested to know what type of table New Guy has ... He's ND like me, so I assume junkmail and doom boxes. Lol

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Snow.