Don't Worry

I got groceries. I have sustainable food now... I have stuff for work snacks... And meals. 

Talked about attachment styles and step mom trauma... In therapy today. 

Going on a date right now... Will be interesting. 

...
Playdate went very well. So ofc I'm second guessing everything and feel as if I crossed all the lines... Lol.

I am researching storage units. I live in ...stuff. I am so tired of all this stuff. I want to not have so much stuff. I no longer want to live in so much stuff but I don't want to get rid of all these memories either... I'm just detaching myself. I really want to be able to propel myself... But into what life?

I want so much for myself... But I'm unsure the next steps to this dance. 

New playdate guy is... Authentic and real and caring. I seem to say the right stuff. So far so good. He is so incredibly handsome. And he's beautiful on the inside too. I lied to my therapist and my roommate... Not sure why. Maybe I wanted it a secret... Unsure why. I told SBB so it's not a complete secret... That's a boundary? 

...
I'll write it out later. Watching Resident Alien. Really good... Super glad coworker warned me of such a heavy thread of adoption and birthmothership.... They got it WRONG... 

...
I'm....okay.

Snow. 

P.s. I'm going to figure my shit out, goddamnit. 




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