The St. Louis Snow

The one thing we have in common, across all cultures and creeds and classes... is grief.  The ever going transactions of transitions of giving and taking... Finding balances with people. Within myself.  Change is part of living. We aren't supposed to stay the same. We are supposed to grow and prosper... Changing for the better... Making room for those who matter, within the plans of fun and party and celebrations...  Sometimes, along the way, we are fortunate enough to meet seeds, soil, and water, to help us grow as people. Strength together than against or in favor of individualism... There's never just one tree in a forest.  ... There's news of big change and I think it's time to move on, as well. This is definitely one of the coolest jobs ever... But it'll just add to my impressively eclectic resume. Adding to my personality.... Adding to my intrigue.  My passion and profession should be bodywork. Quiet conversations with people's bodies as they float off to ...

Idk what I'd do if I didn't work. Didn't have coworkers. Didn't have friends.  Idk who I'd turn to if I was in trouble. I trust new people, but then I don't trust those I've known for years... Idk what changed. People change and forget to tell each other sometimes. It doesn't mean love isn't or wasn't ever there... Or still is. Just, the person who has or gives the love is different.... In a good way, usually. Hopefully.  . According to him, Crickets learned to love himself bc of me. ...I hope he figures out how to forgive himself and how to change for the better... And how to be vulnerable with the people who know him best. It wasn't just me, apparently. I was never trusted with his big emotions... Even though I am more emotionally intelligent (and he knew that), doesn't mean he was stupid. ...in order to get better and smarter in emotions is to understand the self.  Understand why you are feeling a certain way, not just reacting. Assess...

I would imagine hanging out with someone like me is magical. I understand that might sound arrogant to most... But if that's my mind set, everywhere I go, the stress isn't so impending that I feel as though I don't belong... That's a stress I don't want. The belief that I don't belong, that would be exhausting.  I can be totally quiet sometimes. But I'm usually at the end of a shift. No one likes to be bored, but I'm glad I have tasks to do in the back.  We had been moderate and slow day, which means bored to me. The Founders are they/them. There's three of owners, but only two founders. If they ever read this, they never will, they are entirely too busy with the company and their family... And I hope it's never in that order. No business is more important than family.  But to define a family... There's going to be growing pains... When I was hired, the founders were out of state, because of an ailing parent. Coworker told me. Well, manager a...

I'm sure all my father wants for me is to attend church, find a husband, and start a family. My life right now doesn't really allow for that... I don't have a sane immediate family to call upon so the only way is to have a family is to make one ... Which is a super shitty burden to put upon your kids.  I really miss Crickets' family, sometimes. Hanging out with them never felt like a performance or a theatrical production. I never thought I'd be floating along at this time in my life. I was promised a partner to take care of me... After living a lot, that mentality is unfair...and unhealthy. But what I have to do is rewrite the baseline code...  But how do you do that with burn out? What are the next steps to this dance? I can't follow along and I definitely can't keep up. I keep feeling like the world is drastically changing and I am not.  ... The job I have is really cool, but it isn't paying the bills... And I'm exhausted, but usually when I work ...

Dear Dr. Powers,    I know you got a real blow back from your decision to keep the televisions on during the whole day... A lot of parents probably had a thing to say. I know that was probably a big decision. But thank you for having them on. All day. I remember the 11th of September 2001. I was in Health class. The hot redheaded coach was talking about something and Coach Brown came in (he looked like if a white-haired man was also a bulldog, but with smaller shoulders. I despised his wife), and whispered something into redhead's ear. Red raised his eyebrows, and without hesitation, turned around and turned on the television. We saw the second plane hit live. It was 3 minutes past 9 in the morning on a Tuesday. Everything else in that memory melts away, but the screen stays on, loud and clear.  I honestly thought it was a movie. It didn't seem real what was unfolding in front of me. It was ... unrealistically horrific. About 20 minutes later, your voice came on over the ...

May 11th 2003 Hey Sal  Henry graduated college today. He has an internship at IBM! We are both very proud of him. He's wicked smart.  One of his best friends has the same internship. I'm bias, but I'm pretty sure Big Hank will win, just like he won us that ring, remember? Anyway, has Brickma followed you to Florida, yet?  We are all looking forward to seeing you soon, in July for the fourth. Give my best to the family! #46

Most of life is boring. Most of life is connecting with others and caring enough to leave your light sprinkled through out their memories.  True immortality is the impression one leaves on another. The best ones are felt throughout time.  I often wonder about the life my father wants... Wanted ...for me. It seems like all I was trained to do was care for others and be of service... I'm still struggling with taking care of myself and my forgetfulness scares me at times. I often wonder if I had settled down with someone, if my dad would have wanted to live with us. ... Around 2016, I recall a conversation he had with me and Sister about him and retirement... Like when he gets too old, where/how will his kids take care of him? He had looked between us with disappointment in our abilities to do the plausible endeavor of housing an aging parent and I was very confused. How was he going to impose himself like that on our lives like we owed him, now? I would've liked a stronger, more...