The Day Everything Changed

Dear Dr. Powers,

   I know you got a real blow back from your decision to keep the televisions on during the whole day... A lot of parents probably had a thing to say. I know that was probably a big decision. But thank you for having them on. All day.

I remember the 11th of September 2001. I was in Health class. The hot redheaded coach was talking about something and Coach Brown came in (he looked like if a white-haired man was also a bulldog, but with smaller shoulders. I despised his wife), and whispered something into redhead's ear. Red raised his eyebrows, and without hesitation, turned around and turned on the television.

We saw the second plane hit live. It was 3 minutes past 9 in the morning on a Tuesday. Everything else in that memory melts away, but the screen stays on, loud and clear. 

I honestly thought it was a movie. It didn't seem real what was unfolding in front of me. It was ... unrealistically horrific. About 20 minutes later, your voice came on over the school's intercom. You had stated, that what was happening was paramount to witness as an American. 

The entire school watched. 

My nice public school was heavily populated by Jewish kids, so all throughout the day, parents were calling and taking their kids out of school. It was unnerving. I figured they had extended family in the NY area. I had hoped that everyone was ok. 

By homeroom (we called it AC Lab for some stupid reason), everyone was watching. Another "Snow" was in my homeroom watching with me as the first and then second building imploded. Seeing the people scatter throughout the streets of New York and be engulfed by powderized debris and smoke... it was something I'll always have etched into my brain. 

.......

My Snow friend died about a year later from brain cancer. One month shy from her sweet 16th.

Her parents installed the stone benches outside the school. I hope they're still there. 

........

I remember there was so many different emotions swirling in and out of the hallways, on that day ....and the teachers were eerie. I can only surmise that they were trying to keep their shit together. My English teacher had to excuse herself to the hallway a couple times during our class, quietly consuming the news. 

And we kept watching. 

By the end of the day... Half the school's population emptied into buses and cars, chattering about the day's atrocities.

I went home to my dad's house and we kept watching the terror on the news. I recall as a 14year old that it was important and dutiful to watch, to be informed. I didn't have the strong empathy as I do now, but all those people. Gone. Lost. It was ... A lot. 

We wrote in my brother's baby book my stepmom was keeping for him. I don't recall what I had written. Probably something something America...

My mom's brother worked at the Marriot that was right there. He doesn't discuss his story often. 

...

However, Powers, you fumbled a few months later by deciding to put the freshman in the old auditorium, and have us watch two movies to keep us busy whilst the upperclassmen take their mandatory tests... The second film was about Jim Crow racism in the South. 

The first film was.... 9/11. 

It's not like we already lived it, or anything /s. We, the kids teeming with hormones and unaware emotions, lived it. That's why you wanted us to watch all day, right? ...but we really didn't need a director's cut of behind the scenes... 

This was the film that I learned people were jumping to their deaths. That I heard the thuds of their bodies smashing to the ground. That I learned there were survivors, but most not long after surviving... 

I recall telling my evenheaded and calm father about what we had learned that day and it kept me from sleeping well, thinking about it. My dad called the school and chewed you (Dr. Powers) out... or someone else on the administration... That decision was... Uncouth, to say the least. I haven't seen my father very emotional, often.

....

Nowadays, I've learned to stay off of social media around that day. I get that it can be the butt of a joke. That is, people with darker senses of humor would rather laugh than cry or wail or wallow... Or get mad. Let the world laugh if they need to. I understand that it was an atrocity and I don't really make fun of it, personally. 

There's something about laughing in the face of darkness that gives some a power up. There's something about finding hope in a glimmer of an eye, when a line lands well. To be a great comic, or writer, you have to be smart. Clever. Thick-skinned. 

But.... As a country? We're fucked. 

Idk what would happen if we disbanded, as a country. Or if Turd became president again. He'd declare martial law and stay president forever.... That's it. We would be done.

I'm not too sure about the future of this country. But ever since 9/11, I haven't really been a proud citicizen. I'm just kinda here. 

....now I think I'll watch Starship Troopers.... And possibly Independence Day.

...

Thank you, Dr. Powers. 

Thank you for not being a bond villain.

Snow.