The St. Louis Snow

On the days that matter... Like today. I often wonder about how others connect... How do you connect to the world you reside in? How do you interact with those around you? Do the by standers in your life view you as desirable or with negativity? Or neutrality? How do I connect to the reality I am living?  I'm kinda tired of online life but connecting through flirting has always been my downfall... I'm not sure how to make friends beyond that... I'm attractive, I'm confident... I'm very funny.  But how do I maintain a friendship? What are the next steps to the next steps?  Can I trust someone else with my heart so soon after so many fractures? I've been accused of selfishness when he refused to look upon a mirror ... My name is Snow, I know a thing or two about mirrors. I know that smoke can play tricks and the wool hides a veil of truth... Everyone leaves; everyone lies.  Not saying anything is just as bad as lying to my face. There's really no incentive of ...

I know I've made another similar post about graffiti, but I just love finding little places where classic and new tags are happening... I can only imagine what it was like back in the day, the 90s and early 00s, in Atlanta... I have no idea when DOSE or VAYNE and the other classic tags you can find around the city now... But this one tag definitely hits home... I'd ride MARTA into the city to go on an adventure on my days off. What I could count on was this beauty... this tag really made me think about taggers and graffiti in general.  Did you know that some of the first "art" they found in the ancient world was graffiti? It said something along the lines of "caeser sucks" lol.... Punks will always exist.  "May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one." DOSE was on a lot of older buildings' rooftops and parking lots... They had the grand idea to do a grand statement on the back of the Coca Cola sign... it had been up ...

 When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fashion designer... I will always enjoy playing with my clothes and combining different layers and textures. Lately, I've really enjoyed working at the Market, jotting down what people are wearing these days... Some really great styles have passed by, sometimes I'm lucky to wait on them and sell them chocolate. Anyway, I figured I'll start putting these posts out, too.  I know if I go anywhere new or out with friends, I want to wear what I feel comfortable in... And it's definitely something whacky or quirky... why not, ya know? We live in an Orwellian nightmare, might as well have fun being that quirky old lady you wonder about at the grocery store. ........I've seen some Funky older people that I wish it was normal to ask them fascinating questions... they probably have some stories, ya know? Anyway... enjoy these sets...  Please Click....  Mr. Coral Navy Irish Lilac Tuesday Idle Tuesday The rest of the KSM collection so far can...

I like to have conversations with people. New people are the most interesting because humans are naturally curious... We are humans with intellect and intention of building up friendships and connections... How does one do that? Ask interesting questions. Not many can do that. And be actually inquisitive on a consistent basis, for both parties... Meaning, please ask me interesting, inquisitive questions, as well... That's how a conversation works. ...at a certain point, Crickets stopped inquiring about my interests but then expected me to continue to be interested in him... He kept taking from me, demanding more but closing off more of himself, too. He was very inconsistent... And not very interested in me, he never matched my energy or wanted to know what I was into... Idk if I even want to be his friend, still... Like, why? When I'm out with someone, friend or more, I tend to focus on them when they're talking because they are my only focus; I want to savor this moment of...

I wish I could just come home to someone who loved me. Who would hold me when I needed to be held. Who wanted to watch movies with me. And ridiculous (sometimes poignant) episodic shows, live action and animated alike. Who wanted to make love to me, not just fuck me. Who wanted to take me out to the places I liked to go, dressed to the 9s, whenever I wanted to go. I'd love to come home to someone who loved me, and trusted and believed in me, as I do in them... that I'd believe and trust someone else to help hold my heart in place... as I did for so many before, with an expectation of mirroring... If I feel and do things, they will also feel and do things... However, it has always seemed to have backfired into the one way street... I am learning that there is a fine line for most, about the concepts of self image. I love myself, my body, and my brain...but people usually just see a beautiful young woman, and not much else. I love myself as is, but wish to better myself; this d...

There are three types of cellular muscle tissues in the human body. One is Involuntary; for example, the kidneys, and the lungs; one doesn't have to constantly think about their functions. The second is Skeletal Muscles, meaning the tissue to consciously coordinate, in order to move and strengthen the body. The unique, third type is found only in one place; the heart. Cardiac muscle tissue has to be very durable. The moment a life begins in this world, the heart beats. It doesn’t stop for food intake or sleeping. It keeps going. Every minute, every hour, all through out our lives, the heart beats.  Blood flows in and out of the heart as life goes by. It may change rhythm and timing, and one can strengthen the heart by understanding the emotions that pass through it. The information we process every second of our lives, in and out of important arties and ventricles, traveling to the rest of the body, making it work more efficiently, more successfully.  Sometimes, hearts might s...

*context, trying to empathize with the ex and from his perspective* I saved her from the edge When she had no one But I couldn't keep saving her Because I had to save myself I wanted so much for her to win I set up her goals for her life For a life with me that she said she wanted I set up the trials I needed her to achieve in order to be with me For me to be happy For me to be willing to do the things she liked to do To show her that was loved, correctly I dangled romance in front of her As the motivation she needed I'm not sure why it never worked But I kept at it, never asking Never listening to her while she had said things, vented Fix fix fix fix fix That's all she wanted me for  I never asked for clarification But I had always expected it She kept looking at me to save her I kept leading us into the next day But never to obtain new measures Never asking for input or direction I never believed in what she could already do I never believed in her abilities to lead At a ...

The light flickered and sputtered on, shining a jarring gleam on Simon's old, dry face. His bridgeless button nose peaking out of a scraggly beard, unkept. Untamed.  He had worn the same Tshirt for a few days and hadn't changed his drawers in two. He scratched at his left butt cheek, while simultaneously readjusting himself in the front, on the right.  He smiled at himself as he let out a relief. He thought back to the accusation Susan had had about his hygiene. It hadn't even been a week since he showered, he's just dowsed himself with body spray, making his coworkers gag with the stale machoness, failing to really drown out the smell.  As he held the smile and took a whiff of his daily achievements, he caught the glimpse of his consciousness staring back at him. If a pupil could have their hands on their hips, with an attitude that yelled, "what in the world are you doing?!" His teeth screamed out in unison, while his jaw unhinged. His front incisors withere...

Last night, I was listening to a streaming influencer cover Shape of You (friend requested that song on my behalf, bc I intentionally wanted to write a public entry about my feelings towards my ex right in that moment of clarity) and then another song I can't recall, was played, and then Closing Time... ....to anyone I sent this to, I am 100% ok with therapy and have zero unaliving thoughts right now. I like being alive in this world, however gloomy now, it will get better... I just have to keep going, with the hope of growing to where I wanna go.  Confide in your personal friend groups... They help. Share memes. ....if you can hang out with them, physically... Do that. I can't always hang out with my best friends, those who I have known a long time and still love me no matter what ...those people are few. But they are able to converse and be emotionally vulnerable with me, and I to them. They are never a burden to me bc I am not a burden to them. They are chosen family* .... T...