Starting Anew (Happy 2026!)

They talk a lot about what's supposed to be... Supposed to be what there no cookie cutter plan for everyone to experience the same... Not everyone wants a 9 to 5, sitting in traffic for two hours a day, going home to Suzy Homemaker and rinse&repeat until death... Some poor souls work retail... Lol

Not everyone is destined for those lives. And I get that people join the church and organizations to be told how to live and what rules to follow, in order to aspire to that cookie cutter life..... But that's not the point to life... The point to life isn't to follow someone else's recipe... It's to learn and connect from and to others... It is to learn to love others in spite of their differences to you. 

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I had to unlearn a lot of bullshit I had absorbed in youth to be a better human today. Finding a company to work for and with, was the start of how I learned how to utilize trust from others as a currency to live... A lifestyle of respect, understanding, and integrity... They make room and accomodations for me. I work hard to make mass produced products for the entire company to sell and advertise... The company gives back to the community at large... We have won big awards because of our integrity... Because the Founders believe in their company... And I do too. I love working there. 

And for the most part, everyone there understands me... Which is more than what my immediate family did... And other employers. With the respect and kindness I've received at the company, I was able to seek such attributes out in others...

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When you're born as a woman, you're given a dinner plate of expectations and projections from your parents; all sacraments, married young, motherhood, death, The Church. Maybe also work. Dating... Friendships. Community. Schooling. Bills. Insurance. Savings. Retirement... 

But at a certain time, as a person who is holding the plate... You can simply take such helpings off! 

I took off Church and Motherhood. Other people have different helpings... But after awhile, you can just remove stuff. The moment I had realized that I could simply take motherhood off my own fucking menu was... Very moving. I understand I have the parts, but I really love not living with a crying baby... Stinky and loud. Bossy for no reason. I like my peace. I love my partner, B and quiet times. Watching things together. Doing what we want. 

We live in a world where our society doesn't rely on the population we produce for it... There are enough people in this world... We should be learning the dance of cooperation... Understanding. Growth as humans... Evolution. 

Not sticking out collective heads in the sand and yelling LA LA LA LA LA... No one really wants a mouth full of sand, let alone lungs. 

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Being married to B and us doing whatever we want seems like enough for me. Even if we have bad times... I think we have each other's back pretty well. 

I've always wanted to marry my best friend whom I get to snog whenever I want. His family was relatively normal and nice... He had a family home to come home to... And I'm so happy he had that experience because well... Stability is sexy, what can I say? 

B loves me and will do anything to make me happy and content. His love feels like filling my cup... And I pour back rather well, myself... I would like to spend the rest of my life with him. And just him. 

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I really enjoy snail mail. I know in the era of FaceTime, why yearn for a longer time to say hi? But the written word is romantic... I have a journal I love to write in... It really soothes me sometimes... 

I wish more of my friends had time for penpaling ... I think that's my speed of connection nowadays. It's annoying sometimes. But I think that's my capacity. 

Maybe I should try to send a letter to Sister... Put that out there. Start a dialogue of understanding. 

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Snow

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